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Spare Some Change?

March 17, 2008

I wrote this on my LiveJournal (which sucks, by the way) November 9, 2005.

“I am quite sure that there is something somewhere I have not grasped ahold of yet.I feel as though I know myself better than I used to. I have made leaps and bounds in only the last year. But it still seems that there is something left unfound. I never can quite put my finger on it.

I feel as though I could read a book and suddenly understand so I am constantly burying myself in random literature. My most recent exploit is Kant’s Critique of Pure Reason. But critique as he will, it is not leading me to what I want. I feel as though if I gather enough knowledge to be a knowledgeable person than I will have attained my goal and be fulfilled. But you can spend your whole life gathering knowledge and never get enough to be fulfilled.

Am I going to live the rest of my life trying to figure out what this hole is and trying to fill it with knowledge? It seems to me a faulty logic to do so. But I haven’t come up with it’s substitute yet.”

I don’t guess anything has changed much. I still feel very much the same. However, I am more comfortable with the ambiguity now. I suppose that is a step in the right direction.

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